Putting your life back together after a divorce is easier said than done. Let yourself mourn and realize that it’s okay not to be okay. Don’t hurry through the closure process if you are not ready.
Every divorce is unique and there are many details to be worked out. The most important question you are probably asking yourself is “How am I going to put my life back together after such a horrible blow?”
Rest assured that you’re asking yourself a question that everybody does. You must realize that it’s not the end of the world and life will go on. Even a dissolution or uncontested divorce comes with a whirlwind of emotions that are troubling. You need a game plan.
You’ve filed your divorce online, and you want to make sure to remain friends, if that is even possible. Think of this as a time to start a new and better chapter in your life. Though you may not be able to see it right now, sometimes a door must close so a new one can open.
If you’re in that divorce funk, there here are some reminders that you should tell yourself every day. Soon, you won’t need to remind yourself of these things, and you will learn a new reality.
1. Only Happy People Stay Married
If you were happy, then you wouldn’t have got a divorce. Happy people stay married. You filed for your online divorce because you were tired of being miserable. It’s not healthy to stay in an unhealthy relationship.
You need to be with someone who loves and respects you. Think of today as a fresh start with a lighter load.
2. You’re Writing a New Chapter in Your Book of Life
Keep your mind busy because you are your own worst enemy. All the negative thoughts that run through your head probably don’t cross your ex’s. Stop beating yourself up. You gave your marriage your all, and it just wasn’t meant to be.
Learn from your mistakes, and vow to do things differently the next time around. Stay busy to keep your mind from ruminating about all the things that went wrong. The chapter of this book is closed, and you must move on.
3. Vow to Be A Better You
Don’t sit and stagnate. Make new goals for yourself. Whether you want to climb the corporate ladder, or you need to get in shape, you can do it with the help of goal setting. Grab a pen and paper and start planning where you will be and what you will look like next year. Give yourself a daily boost of confidence by accomplishing small tasks.
4. Never Neglect Your Children’s Needs
It’s easy to become so preoccupied with your own life and drama that you neglect those closest to you. Your children need to be a top priority. Being a parent means going to games, helping them with their schoolwork and paying attention to them, even when you don’t feel like it. Make a mental note to connect with your child today, no matter how bad you feel.
5. Let Go of Angry Clutches
Nothing good comes of rehashing the past. Also, make sure that you don’t speak ill of your ex. You only make yourself look smaller if you defame and verbally bash them in front of others. Too many people refuse to move on and hold on to the past.
The more you give in to your anger, the more it will consume you. The only person that gets hurt is you. If children are involved, never talk about their other parent in a derogatory way.
6. Meet Someone New and Mingle Socially
Make a vowel to go out of your way to be kind. Meet someone knew and mingle with others. Join a support group with other newly divorced people. Hearing the stories of others helps you to find comfort in your saga.
Form new relationships, even if they are just friendships. Don’t rush into any new committed situations, at least not for the first year. Most importantly, get to know your likes and dislikes before you commit to anyone else.
7. Just Because You Are Alone Doesn't Mean You Need to Be Lonely
Loneliness is the biggest complaint of all newly divorced people. There is nothing you can do to stop this feeling, and it will creep up on you when you least expect it. During times of solitude, learn to appreciate the quiet time.
Turn on your favorite tunes, make yourself a nice dinner, and learn to be content just by yourself. Soon you will find that family functions and hanging out with friends takes on a whole new meaning. Just because you are alone doesn’t mean you must be lonely.
A great way to start your next chapter is to do it without the looming divorce costs hanging over your head. An online divorce allows you to get help filling out the papers and handling the process yourself.
If you and your ex-agree on everything from the division of assets to a shared parenting plan, then there is no need to let it drag out in court. In many areas, you don’t even need to appear before the judge if you file for dissolution.
Legal support comes in various places, and handling everything online just makes good financial sense.